


Three Reasons Why Jurassic Park Wouldn't Work in the -- Conversation is Now Over

by lionessvalenti



Category: Cracked: After Hours
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Porn Battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 10:13:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1262479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diner nights have changed since Dan and Soren got together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Reasons Why Jurassic Park Wouldn't Work in the -- Conversation is Now Over

Katie knew her eyes were glazed over, even as she absently reached for her glass of water. Diner nights were still fun, even when they turned into full on arguments, but these days they were different. The moment Dan and Soren started going back and forth, the night was over.

"They can't have Jurassic Park in the _Jurassic Park_ universe," Dan said, fervently waving his fork, even though he hadn't taken a bite of his food in nearly ten minutes. "It's a huge PR mess after _The Lost World_. Do you think anyone is going to go to that park after a Tyrannosaurus Rex wandered around San Diego?"

"Yes," Soren replied definitively. "People are stupid. People are going to be pissed off that they missed the T-Rex and pay top dollar to see one."

Kate thought about pointing out that _The Lost World_ took place before everyone had a camera in their pocket and it could potentially be covered up somehow, since in a pre-YouTube world, only a few thousand people saw the T-Rex instead of a few million. The second she opened her mouth, Dan was already talking over her.

"And a ton of people _died_ ," Dan said. "Any time anyone goes to Jurassic Park, they die or they almost die. And when they try to build a Jurassic Park in America, more people die."

Soren gestured toward Dan with his hand. "The element of danger is what's going to draw people to the park. Why do you think extreme tourism exists? Fucking dinosaurs are going to top Chernobyl."

"You get to fuck the dinosaurs?" Michael asked. "I'm in."

"Thank you for making my point," Soren said.

"That is not the point," Dan said over him. "That's the opposite of the point. No one gets to fuck the dinosaurs."

"Don't even go there," Katie muttered to Michael. "When they get like this, it's pointless."

"You're saying that Jurassic Park would make no money?" Soren asked.

Dan shook his head. "I'm not saying no one would go, but would it make enough to be a self-sustaining business? After all the scientists you had to pay and the livestock you'd need to feed all the dinosaurs, even if it was two grand per person, plus Jurassic Park hotel accommodations, there still wouldn't be enough people going to cover it."

"I think you're wrong."

"I don't care."

Soren's breathing picked up as he stared at Dan. He grabbed Dan's tee shirt and pulled at it. "We gotta go."

"Yeah, we didn't see that coming," Katie muttered as Soren dragged Dan out of the diner. She looked up at Michael. "Do you want to wait until they're done giving each other handjobs in the parking lot or do you want to go?"

"Oh, they're not giving each other handjobs," Michael said brightly. "When Dan sticks to his point, Soren blows him. They do handjobs when they agree. They get off on the kissing while they do it."

Katie stared at him. "How the fuck do you know that?"

"Because they do it in Dan's car in the parking lot."

"That doesn't actually answer the question."

"Doesn't it?"

Katie blinked and then groaned. "Really? Not only do you watch them, but you've done it enough times to detect a pattern?"

"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to." Michael pointedly shoved a French fry in his mouth. "Do you want to go watch them?"

She hesitated. That would be weird. These were her friends and probably shouldn't spy on them when they were having sex. On the other hand, Dan and Soren were the ones who brought their relationship to the table and were doing it in the car where anyone could see them. "Kinda, yeah."

Michael grinned. "You pay the bill, and I'll show you how not to get caught."


End file.
